Bette Midler and the Large Hadron Collider

CERN scientists announced today that they have discovered a new particle, which they have named the Bette Midler. The Bette Midler is a subatomic particle that is responsible for the phenomenon of “diva behavior.”

When the Large Hadron Collider is turned on, it creates a powerful beam of Bette Midlers that can penetrate anything in its path. Scientists believe that this is what causes diva behavior in celebrities.

Bette Midler was unavailable for comment, but her publicist released a statement saying, “Ms. Midler is pleased that her name will now be associated with a scientific discovery. She hopes that this will help people to understand the importance of diva behavior.”